Resource: Simple Reflection Exercise

Mar 26

Let’s pause for a moment to reflect,

You don’t have to “fix” anything right now—just notice.

Take a few minutes and reflect:

1. What is one pattern I keep noticing?
(e.g., overthinking, withdrawing, people-pleasing, using substances)

2. When does it tend to show up most?
(stress, conflict, uncertainty, closeness)

3. What does it do for me in the moment?
(Does it reduce anxiety? Create distance? Help you feel in control?)

4. If this pattern had a job, what would it be?
(e.g., “protect me from rejection,” “keep me from feeling overwhelmed”)

Why this matters:

This shifts the question from:

“What’s wrong with me?”

to:

“What is this pattern trying to do for me?”

That shift alone can begin to change how you relate to it.

If you’ve been feeling stuck

If you’ve been:

aware of your patterns
trying to change them
but still feeling stuck

It doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong.

It may mean the pattern needs to be worked with at a different level.

Therapy in Ventura County

I provide therapy in Ventura County for individuals navigating trauma, anxiety, and substance use who feel stuck in patterns despite previous therapy.